i know my mood changes really fast. just last week, turning 29 felt like a shithole. and then he came along and brought the surprises which lighten my mood. and one week later, the darker than ever moods are back.
it aint to the point of depression or severe, but i cant smile. i cant find joy. everything is dull and grey. i just want to hide at home with my new percy jackson novel and disappear with the world of fantasies and find my likely happiness there!
what is really happening to me? why is there no drive/motivation/roar in me? am i starting to become whiney and unable to grasp and appreciate the good in my life (if any?). perhaps im lost in the words like – satisfaction? happiness? contentment?
perhaps i have become disillusioned? impatient? chaotic?
and so i decided to google the word “happiness”. and there seem one quote from http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/happiness/ that spoke to me.
i am searching and feeling my soul deeply for that last phrase to happen to me…
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As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life — delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay — I hold this question as a guiding light: “What do I really need right now to be happy?” What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
- Sharon Salzberg
